Respond: (verb) 1. to reply or answer 2. to react. 3. to correspond.

Thanks to Dictionary.com.

With the passing of my husband’s grandmother last week, we heard a lot of people respond to hearing the news “Oh, I’m so sorry.”  We appreciated their thoughtfulness, but weren’t very surprised. That’s what people say when they’ve heard of a loved one’s death. It’s good manners and shows respect.

It’s nice to know how to respond to something. To have an answer already figured out so that when the time comes, you feel confident that you will be able to handle the situation with grace and finesse.

That’s what protocol and etiquette are all about. The ability to respond to a person or a situation without causing insult or harm. As nice as it is to create peace with the other people around you, too much focus on saying ‘the right thing’ can make life very stale and boring.

The best we can do is be aware of what is happening around us and think before we react.

That’s not always easy. In fact, it’s downright impossible for some folks. They’ve convinced themselves that they ‘are’ a certain way and their responses are so deeply ingrained in who they believe they are that they won’t be held responsible for what they say or do.

You can recognize them because they say things like “She/He made me _______.” or “I always______. or “I never______.”

photo credit google images

There’s no remorse because there’s no thought behind their actions. No responsibility for the damage they cause. They wander through life oblivious to the fact they they’re giving their power away every single day. Everything that goes wrong is someone else’s fault. Nothing that happens is their own responsibility. They know everything because they never move out of their comfort zone. They live a small, ’safe’ life becase they’re afraid of being wrong. They’re afraid of failure and they can’t stand the idea of looking stupid.

I know this to be true because I used to be one of these people. For a long time, I was afraid to stretch out past my comfort zone because I might make a mistake, insult someone and end up sad and alone. So I only did things I knew I was good at. I only went places I knew were safe and talked to people I already knew. Although I was basically alive, I was stagnant and stuck. I was unhappy and bored out of my mind.

But, fortunately, patterns can be broken. Feelings can be mended and wounds will heal with time. That’s the beautiful response of the Universe (God, Allah, the Source, the Force, the Collective Unconcious, the Divine). When we acknowledge our Creator, get rooted and ask for help, we can finally see how valuable we are and how much power we truly have.

photo credit to google images

My Captain (and Havi’s Destuckification Station) helped me move past my fear. Actually, not even move past it, because seriously, I still feel fear, but now I use it as fuel. The uncertainty I feel when I’m doing something new feels very different from the dread of living a stale, stagnant life. It’s uncomfortable, but more like the feeling of anticipation than mortal danger. Learning to trust myself to handle what comes up is where confidence comes from.

I know I was given this gift of life for reason. Appreciation and gratitude for this adventure have pulled me toward a much more fulfilling life. I’m learning new stuff and meeting new people every day. Although I absolutely still make mistakes, at least now I try to do my best to  take responsibility and apologize when I need to. My mistakes are simply lessons that are helping me grow. And since I’ll never stop growing, I can look forward to making more mistakes.

My responses are my responsibility. Response +ability = responsibility.

With awareness and time, when we acknowledge our patterns and do our best to learn from them, we can grow past where we are into who the world needs us to be.

So, my friendly blog reader. How are you responding to life?

I’d love to read your thoughts in the comments below!

xoxo Pam

p.s. I’ve been working on the Occupy Ortonville website. If you’re interested, click the link to take a look.

p.p.s. Brene’ Brown has a fantastic piece of wisdom. When she’s about to walk on stage, or talk to someone new, she’ll remind herself “Don’t shrink. Don’t puff up. Just be your sacred self.” Then she takes a breath to center herself and continues on. I’ve tried it and it absolutely works. Give it a try for yourself. I’d love to know it works for you! Best of luck! xoxo

Teach your children well

Their father’s hell did slowly go by

And feed them on your dreams

The one they pick’s the one you’ll know by.

I had a most wonderful Mother’s day with my family in Pennsylvania and New Jersey.

Grama Betty’s funeral was both beautiful and bittersweet. She loved and was loved by many. She will be missed.

I hope you enjoy the song, my friendly blog reader.

I’ll be back later this week with the Inspirational word of the week…..Respond.

xoxo Pam

p.s. I’ve been working on the Occupy Ortonville website. If you’re interested, you can click the link and take a look.

Care (noun) 1. concern 2. caution 3. protection.

(verb) 1. to be solicitous 2. to be concerned 3. to make a provision or look out for 4. to have a liking, fondness or affection.

Thanks to Dictionary.com

For those of you who are new to this website, I’ll start by telling you a little bit about myself. I’m a 43 year old wife, mother, artist, writer, speaker, volunteer extraordinaire.  In between doing laundry, dishes and floors, I work with the Welcome Wagon, the Ortonville DDA and Occupy Ortonville, not to mention I’ve just finished writing a book called You’re the Boat and I’m in the process of learning how to self-publish. I write on this website twice a week to practice becoming a better writer and more enlightened human being.

I do all of these things because I care.

I care about helping my community.

I care about being a good role model for my son and nieces.

I care about building a better, healthier community for my family and friends to live in.

I care about giving people something fun to look forward to.

I care about having a lasting positive influence with the time and energy I’ve been blessed with.

As you may have noticed, I have a lot of energy. Too much, some might say. And a few years ago, I would have agreed. All of this energy was causing me to feel anxious, stressed out and worried that I was making a mess of things. I felt like I couldn’t control my mind and it was driving me kinda crazy.

It all finally came to a head when I was home-schooling my son, in preparation for our year long adventure to live in Brazil. Home-schooling wasn’t nearly as much fun or as easy as I had hoped it would be. To be kind, I was making a mess of it and I knew it. As I was hooking up my dog to take our walk one day, I asked God (the Universe, the Source, the Force, the Divine….) How am I supposed to get through this!? The very next thought that came to my mind was… “You know, your attitude is a lot like the rudder on a ship. If you keep it adjusted appropriately, you can get where you need to go, but if it gets stuck, then your just going in circles, frustrating yourself and everyone else around you.” For the first time in weeks (months) I felt good, open and hopeful. My curiosity was peaked, so as I took my walk, the rest of the Boat came to me. Everything on the Boat stands for a part of my life. Of course, my attitude is my rudder, my heart is the ship’s wheel, the sail is my soul, the mast is my strength and the Crow’s nest is my forethought (just to name a few).

I went back home and drew out the Boat with my color crayons.(see it in the picture above) It showed it to my husband and son and they liked it. I taped it up above my desk where I could see it every day, as a reminder to keep my attitude adjusted.

We moved to Brazil and the analogy helped me get through the day to day. It wasn’t always easy, or fun, but I didn’t ever get back to feeling like I didn’t have control over my mind. Whenever I got overwhelmed, I would practice adjusting my rudder. I would take a walk, get a drink of water, have a snack, turn on some music and dance, or make some art. It really, truly helped.

While living in Brazil I finally quit smoking. (Yeah!!!) After 20 plus years, it was pretty tough but it gave me an opportunity to do something different with my hands, so I took up writing. At first, it was just lists and inspirational quotes, but then I thought it would be a good idea to practice by writing out the Boat analogy into words.

Since a picture is worth a thousand words, I used that as my goal. It took me almost a week to write it, but I soon realized that I had missed a couple of pieces when I first wrote out the analogy. My first Boat didn’t have a Captain or ropes. The Captain is our guide. The Universe, the Source, the Force, God, Allah, whatever we call it doesn’t matter. Just knowing we’re loved and supported does. The Ropes are our self-discipline. It connects the Sail to the Mast, just like our self-discipline helps connect our Souls to our Strength. If we don’t have self-discipline and faith in ourselves, our souls can’t propel us forward in life.

The very best thing the Boat analogy has taught me is that I’m never done learning. Ever since I first started writing about the Boat, I’ve discovered more about life as well as about myself. In the analogy, the ship’s wheel symbolizes our heart. In order to be guided toward the life we’re looking forward to, we need to be open-hearted. When I asked “How am I supposed to get through this?” that first day, I was opening up my heart and asking for guidance. That was the single best lesson I have ever learned in my life. To be open-hearted is to be open to learning and guidance. It was only when I thought I knew it all that I was frustrated and freaking out.

Writing the analogy into a book has been one of the hardest things I’ve ever done in my life. It’s taken over a year and proven to be very eye-opening because there are more pieces that have come as I’ve continued writing. The Anchor, the Safe Harbor and the Cannons, just to name a few.

The book is written and now I’m working with a graphic designer to finish putting it together. I’ll be publishing it into an e-book within the next couple of months. Then I’ll start doing inspirational presentations again, spreading the world that there is hope, we are not alone and that our Captain loves us and wants us to feel supported and happy.

If I could give you one piece of advice today, my friendly blog reader, it would be to stay open to guidance. Ask for help. Don’t think you are all alone in your troubles. Your life is God’s gift to the world. God cares how you feel and wants to help you live a happy, fulfilling life. Open yourself up to the possibility that you do have control over your own attitude. Every day is another chance to try. You deserve happiness, peace and success.

I hope you’ve enjoyed todays post.

What do you care about? Why do you do what you do?

I’d love to read your thoughts in the comments below!

xoxo Pam

p.s. My family and I are heading out to New Jersey to attend the funeral of Grama Betty, my husband’s grandmother. I’ll be back later next week with the Inspirational song of the week.

p.p.s.

Oh my goodness!  It’s been a very busy day!!  I just got back from the very first Direct Action of Occupy Ortonville.

We had 12 people picket outside of Bank of America in Clarkston from 4pm until 6pm. We had more than 8,000 cars pass by us. Lots of folks waved, honked and gave us the thumbs up.  We only saw 5 people flip us the ‘bird’.  I’d consider that a win!

We all really enjoyed ourselves despite the unpredictable weather. First it was sunny, then it rained, then it hailed. None of us really seemed to mind. We were just happy to be out doing what we’re supposed to be doing with the people we were doing it with! Good Times!!

photo credit google images

The Traveling Wilburys sure enjoyed playing together too!

Enjoying what you’re doing and sharing that joy with other people. That’s really what makes life worth living.

I hope you enjoy the song, my friendly blog reader.

Do you have a favorite song you’d like to share?

I’d love to read it in the comments below!

Have a wonderful week.

I’ll be back later this week with the Inspirational word of the week…care.

xoxo Pam

Reveal (verb) 1. to make known; to disclose. 2) to display; exhibit. (noun) 1. a disclosure or revelation.

photo credit google images

This word invokes a very different reaction depending upon how you’re feeling.

If you’re fearful, this word creates feelings of worry and anxiety.

“What if something bad happens?!” “What if somebody finds out?!”

Whereas, when you’re happy, this word brings about feelings of good fortune and progress.

“What do I get to look forward to?!” “How can this help me?!”

The main difference is confidence. If you’re feeling powerless, this word feels oppressive, overwhelming and ominous. You see it as a challenge.

If you’re feeling powerful, this word feels strong, welcomed and encouraging. It’s an opportunity.

So, what was your reaction to the word? Did it make your stomach tighten as your hands started to sweat? Or were you thinking about what you get to look forward to?

The only person qualified to make you feel more confident is YOU. You do that by opening yourself up to learning new things. Figuring out what makes you feel alive and happy and then going after it. Practicing and putting in the time it takes to get better. Doing the work. Confidence comes from within you. When you are willing to do what it takes to develop yourself and your life, a better life will be revealed. If not, it won’t. It’s as simple as that.

I can’t make you more confident, my friendly blog reader, but I can try to help you see how important you are.

No matter where you are, or who you’re around, your spirit is revealed through your words and actions. Your energy influences every single thing, every single moment of your life. Whether you were aware of it until now or not, it’s absolutely true.

photo credit Emmanuelle Lambert on facebook

You are here on this planet because God (the Divine, the Universe, the Source, the Force…..) needs you to be. You were made to be just exactly who you are. You are not broken. There is NOTHING WRONG with you. Sure, you might need some development, but fundamentally YOU ARE ALREADY PERFECT.

Your life is God’s gift to the world. Believe it. Own it.

You were born with the power to develop into exactly who you are supposed to be. All you need to do is allow some space between who you are and who you want to be. That awesome, wonderful person you love, respect and admire already exists within you. You just have to grow into him/her.

Notice what happens when you let go of thinking about what you have to do and start thinking about what you get to do.

Savor this opportunity to be alive and believe the best in yourself. You deserve the very best life has to offer.

What will today reveal about you?

I’d love to read your thoughts in the comments below!

xoxo Pam

photo credit to life goes on FaceBook

p.s. “Just because the road ahead is long, is no reason to slow down. Just because there is much work to be done, is no reason to get discouraged. It is a reason to get started, to grow, to find new ways, to reach within yourself and discover strength, commitment, determination, discipline. The road ahead is long and difficult, and filled with opportunity at every turn. Start what needs starting. Finish what needs finishing. Get on the road. Stay on the road. Get on with the work. Right now you’re at the beginning of the journey. What a great place to be! Just imagine all the things you’ll learn, all the people you’ll meet, all the experiences you’ll have. Be thankful that the road is long and challenging, because that is where you’ll find the best that life has to offer.”

― Ralph Marston

photo credit google images

This song came up in conversation as I was taking my walk the other day with my friends Mary and Claude.

There’s just no way to know how everything is going to turn out. All we can do is enjoy each day as it comes.

I hope you enjoy this song, my friendly blog reader.

I’ll be back later this week with the Inspirational word of the week…Reveal.

Have a wonderful week.

xoxo Pam

p.s. Click here to read a story about a young man, Austin Hatch who has survived two plane crashes, the last of which killed his father, step-mother and one of the family dogs. Talk about taking it one day at a time…..

Control (verb) 1. to exercise direction over; command. 2. to hold in check; curb. 3. to eliminate or prevent the spread or flourishing of. (noun) 1.regulation or domination. 2. check or restraint.

Thanks to Dictionary.com for the definition.

You may not realize this, but I have a bit of a temper. Maybe it’s the red hair, or the Irish heritage, but either way, I’ve ended up with a hot head. Now, fortunately, as I’ve grown older and wiser, I’ve realized that I need to control my temper. This hasn’t been easy and I’ll freely admit that I’m far from having total command over my thoughts and feelings, but at least I’m aware of the fact that I need to think before I speak or risk hurt feelings or worse.

My point today is that we ALL have the ability to control our minds. Whether or not we realize it and take control is another story all together.

photo credit google images

Imagine a really nice muscle car, like a 1967 Pontiac GTO with a 389 cubic inch V8. Vroom, Vroom, baby!!!

Pretty nice, huh?!!!

Well, it is nice and very powerful, unless it doesn’t have a steering wheel. Without a steering wheel, it’s still beautiful, but pretty much useless.

Same thing goes for our minds.

Unless we choose to control our thoughts, we’re at the mercy of our feelings.

Our feelings are like the weather. Although we need to be aware of our feelings, they don’t define who we are.

Think about it. Our feelings can change from day to day, minute to minute. They can be effected by hormones, food, music, sunlight and a thousand other variables.

We’re much, much more than our feelings. We’re spiritual beings, using our body’s and mind’s to get around in this material world.  We’re each valuable, intelligent people with talents, skills and experiences that make us unique.

photo credit to google images

Self-awareness is the first step to learning how to control our reactions to our thoughts and feelings. We first have to recognize our patterns of reactivity in order to finally do something to change it.

For example, when I feel threatened, I have a tendency to get angry and defensive, a completely understandable, but useless reaction. Becoming angry and defensive doesn’t fix anything. It doesn’t build anything helpful or create harmony with anyone. In fact, it actually destroys life and everything that makes life worth living.

Instead of getting angry and defensive, it’s a much smarter choice for me to be open and honest and speak up about my boundaries. Knowing myself and becoming aware of what kind of life I want to live is my best protection. Although it takes effort, (because it takes effort) practicing awareness and mindfulness makes me stronger. When I feel stronger, I’m less likely to react negatively. Eating well, taking my walk and practicing daily meditation are also key factors in helping me feel stable and strong.

Our challenges create opportunities for us to learn how to control our thoughts and reactions. We can either become resentful and find someone or something to blame, or we can face our challenges and grow. The choice is ours to make. Our character is defined by how we learn to react to our feelings.

Remember, we can only carry one kind of thought in our mind at one time. We can’t be angry and kind, or compassionate and insulted. We can’t find solutions by blaming someone else for our problems.

“You become what you think about all day long.” Ralph Waldo Emerson

We have some very large challenges facing our generation. The first step to fixing them is learning how to control our reactions to those problems. Self-awareness, patience and compassion will help us move forward. Letting ourselves get stuck, angry and defensive won’t help anyone or anything at all.

What do you think, my friendly blog reader?

How are you reacting to your challenges these days? How are you learning to control your thoughts?

I’d love to read your thoughts in the comments below!

xoxo Pam

photo credit google images

This song came out in 1980 on his Double Fantasy record. (For those of you too young to remember, records were large, round, vinyl discs with inscribed grooves that we played on record players to listen to music. You can read more about them on Wikipedia.) It was the last record he recorded.

I chose this song because it reminds me of how hard it must have been for John and Yoko to have anything even close to a normal life.

After he had his fill of stardom, John took some years off to focus on being a husband and father.

I respect for him for stepping back and letting go of the spot-light in order to make time to be a real, present and attentive husband to Yoko and father to Sean.

He didn’t do that with his first son, Julian. He was too busy getting rich and famous and missed out on a lot of the really important parts of his first son’s life.

Instead of making the same mistake twice, John chose to spend some time, 6 years in fact, just enjoying his younger son and Yoko. This video is filled with home-movies showing the joy they all shared.

He wasn’t a perfect man, but he tried to appreciate and learn from his life. I’m glad he had took some time to savor it before he was shot and killed.

I hope you enjoy this song, my friendly blog reader.

I’ll be back  later this week with the Inspirational word of the week….Control.

xoxo Pam

Value (noun) 1. relative worth or importance.

(verb) 1. to calculate the monetary value 2. to consider with respect. 3. to regard or esteem highly.

 (Thanks to Dictionary.com for the definitions)

photo credit google images

I got this note from a gentleman named Walter Simmer that I met at the Occupy Ortonville meeting last week.

“When I think of the 99%, I think of dandelions. A tough scrappy little flower that grows where the 99% live and is excluded from posh gated communities of the 1%. Perhaps its universality could be morphed into the symbol of unity for all the 99%. Again, from me, a passive but powerful message like special credit union checks and special license plates. Imagine the symbol of dandelions outpacing the peace sign everywhere. Take a bouquet of dandelions to any meeting in a makeshift jar. What a message!”

I absolutely love his analogy. It makes perfect sense to use it to describe the 99%.

According to Wikipedia, this tough, scrappy little flower is found all around the world and used for culinary and medicinal purposes. They’re extremely healthy to eat and even beneficial for gardens.

The dandelion plant is a beneficial weed, with a wide range of uses, and is even a good companion plant for gardening. Its taproot will bring up nutrients for shallower-rooting plants, and add minerals and nitrogen to soil. It is also known to attract pollinating insects and release ethylene gas which helps fruit to ripen.^[19]

Dandelions are beautiful and rugged, not afraid to bloom, even in the harshes environments. No matter how hard some folks try to kill them off, every year they keep coming back, as bold as ever.

photo credit to google images

I want to be more like the dandelion. Tough, scrappy, bold and resilient to what anyone else thinks of me. I want to remember to get rooted in how truly valuable I am and to reminder everyone else around me (including and especially the folks of the Occupy Movement) that we are all worthy of respect. Our place on this planet is a gift from God. We’re honoring God when we acknowledgeand appreciate that gift and use our energy to have a lasting positive influence. Instead of getting overwhelmed at how big our challenges are, we need to remember to have faith that just doing our best is enough to make a real difference.

Tell you what, I’ll remind you if you help remind me, okay?! Good!

Speaking of having a lasting positive influence, the next Occupy Ortonville meeting is scheduled for next Sunday, April 29th at 10am at the Old Town Hall. (Here’s an article that went into the local newspaper about our first meeting.) We’ll be working on building our committees and planning our direct actions. If you’re interested, feel free to contact me thru this website or come on down to the meeting.

I’m also still helping to put on CreekFest and the Beets, Beats & Eats farmers market starting up in June. If you’re a vendor who sells hand-made, home-made local Michigan products, or you know of someone who is, please contact me thru this website or e-mail me at pambelding at gmail dot com.  If you or someone you know has a small or home-based business and you’re interested in promoting it, consider being a part of the Coffee Club Expo at the Clarkston Methodist Church on May 31st from 4pm until 8pm. Click the link to find more info.

And last but not least, we’re having another Cash Mob!! If you are in the South East Michigan area and would like to be a part of something really fun and rewarding, let me know and I’ll contact you with more information about when and where our next Cash Mob event is going to be. (It’s still a secret to the store owner, that’s why I’m not posting it yet!)

So what do you think, my friendly blog reader?

What helps you remember how valuable you are?

I’d love to read your thoughts in the comments below!

Have a great week and I’ll be back later with the Inspirational song of the week.

xoxo Pam

What a fantastic song! Light, fun and sweet! I picked this song because it helps to soothe and mend the torn, frayed edges of my energy.

It’s too easy to get stuck, drowning in the drama, details and problems, but we don’t have to stay there.

It’s takes effort to pull ourselves up out of the heavy, out of the doom and gloom, but it’s necessary. For the sake of our own happiness, as well as the happiness of everyone around us, we need to try to feel good, healthy and loved. When we open ourselves up, the possibilities are endless.

In order to feed our souls and fill our hearts, we have to reach out beyond what’s being offered up as ‘reality’ and look for the vision of what we want our lives to look and feel like. Like a life-preserver, that vision will save our lives.

Instead of struggling with trying to do more, more, more, the smart thing to do is to relax and focus on what truly matters right now. Because ‘We only have tonight‘.

Love conquers all.

I hope you like this song too.

Do you have a song that helps remind you of the power of love?

I’d be thrilled to read your thoughts in the comments below!

xoxo Pam

p.s. I’ll be back later this week with the Inspirational word of the week….Value.