Current Inspiration

9 Basic Human Needs part one

Today is Wednesday, and instead of writing the Inspirational word of the week, I’m going to write about the 9 Basic Human Needs, in between doing laundry, working on the yard and taking a walk with Tootsie, so I’ll probably break it up into 2 parts.

I found a newsletter on-line when I was home-schooling my son while we lived in Brasil in 2008-9. It was written by  Barbara Taylor, a management consultant with 25 years of experience helping people. (Click the link on her name to see her very impressive qualifications!)

In an effort to help figure out what it is we actually need, my friendly blog reader, it’s important to first understand what those needs are.  Barbara has been kind enough to simplify them into this article here.  (click the link to read the whole thing)

In no particular order, they are

• Security = Asks lots of questions and demands more information.
• Adventure = Always looking for a new way of doing things.
• Freedom = Needs to make their own choices. Resists rules.
• Exchange = Works well with others to share values.
• Power = Strong leadership tendencies. Good organizers and accept responsibility.
• Expansion = Needs to build and grow. Recognizes value.
• Acceptance = Friendly and tolerant. Smiling and whistling is normal.
• Community = Likes to be around other people. Nurturing and helpful.
• Expression = Creative with words, art, or even computer stuff.

According to Barbara, each of us has three primary needs, meaning three needs that are more important than the other six needs, which we also have, but to a lesser degree.  When people don’t get their needs met they can become agitated, belligerent, or pushed to use the negative aspects of their needs.

Each person is responsible for seeing that they get their own needs met — this is an “inside job”, not something that is fulfilled by another person.

Two people who don’t share at least one common need will feel little connection with another person and have a hard time relating to them.  Close friends and partners will usually share two or three needs in common.

In order to figure out our needs, we need to be honest with ourselves when we look at the above list.

For example, my top 3 needs are Acceptance, Exchange and Expression. Now, admitting this is rather difficult, because I feel like people will judge me for needing to feel accepted. However, in order for me to get my next two needs met, Exchange and Expression, I need to be accepted by other people. In fact, I need to accept the fact that I need to be accepted. Make sense?

I’ve found that when I get mad at myself because I’m not learning something fast enough, I become frustrated and angry which creates a vicious cycle of self-abuse. When I let go of unrealistic expectations and accept myself for who I am, I start to relax and focus on the task.

When my family and I first moved into our house, I felt lost and unhappy. My darling husband was on project in Venezuela, while I was here in Michigan. (click the lost and unhappy link to read more about this) Our neighbors weren’t as accepting as I had been told they would be, so I felt rejected and  jealous. (I must tell you, my friendly blog reader, that this is really hard to share, but I will continue on because I believe that somehow, this will help you). In order to make myself feel better, I focused on taking care of my family and home, worked on my art projects and went out and got involved in my community. Although I didn’t realize it until many years later, these actions helped me to fulfill my need of being accepted.

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Here is where I need to take a break, my friendly blog reader. There are many responsibilities I have yet to tend to, so I must stop for now.

I’ll be back next week with Part Two.

Have a great weekend!

xoxo Pam

p.s. One of those responsibilities is the Enjoy the Process Coloring Contest at the Beets, Beats & Eats farmers market this Friday night!!!  WooHoo!  If you’re in Ortonville on Friday night at 6pm, I’d love to see you there!