Today is Wednesday, and instead of writing the Inspirational word of the week, I’m going to write about the 9 Basic Human Needs, in between doing laundry, working on the yard and taking a walk with Tootsie, so I’ll probably break it up into 2 parts.
I found a newsletter on-line when I was home-schooling my son while we lived in Brasil in 2008-9. It was written by Barbara Taylor, a management consultant with 25 years of experience helping people. (Click the link on her name to see her very impressive qualifications!)
In an effort to help figure out what it is we actually need, my friendly blog reader, it’s important to first understand what those needs are. Barbara has been kind enough to simplify them into this article here. (click the link to read the whole thing)
In no particular order, they are
Security = Asks lots of questions and demands more information.
Adventure = Always looking for a new way of doing things.
Freedom = Needs to make their own choices. Resists rules.
Exchange = Works well with others to share values.
Power = Strong leadership tendencies. Good organizers and accept responsibility.
Expansion = Needs to build and grow. Recognizes value.
Acceptance = Friendly and tolerant. Smiling and whistling is normal.
Community = Likes to be around other people. Nurturing and helpful.
Expression = Creative with words, art, or even computer stuff.
According to Barbara, each of us has three primary needs, meaning three needs that are more important than the other six needs, which we also have, but to a lesser degree. When people don’t get their needs met they can become agitated, belligerent, or pushed to use the negative aspects of their needs.
Each person is responsible for seeing that they get their own needs met — this is an “inside job”, not something that is fulfilled by another person.
Two people who don’t share at least one common need will feel little connection with another person and have a hard time relating to them. Close friends and partners will usually share two or three needs in common.
In order to figure out our needs, we need to be honest with ourselves when we look at the above list.
For example, my top 3 needs are Acceptance, Exchange and Expression. Now, admitting this is rather difficult, because I feel like people will judge me for needing to feel accepted. However, in order for me to get my next two needs met, Exchange and Expression, I need to be accepted by other people. In fact, I need to accept the fact that I need to be accepted. Make sense?
I’ve found that when I get mad at myself because I’m not learning something fast enough, I become frustrated and angry which creates a vicious cycle of self-abuse. When I let go of unrealistic expectations and accept myself for who I am, I start to relax and focus on the task.
When my family and I first moved into our house, I felt lost and unhappy. My darling husband was on project in Venezuela, while I was here in Michigan. (click the lost and unhappy link to read more about this) Our neighbors weren’t as accepting as I had been told they would be, so I felt rejected and jealous. (I must tell you, my friendly blog reader, that this is really hard to share, but I will continue on because I believe that somehow, this will help you). In order to make myself feel better, I focused on taking care of my family and home, worked on my art projects and went out and got involved in my community. Although I didn’t realize it until many years later, these actions helped me to fulfill my need of being accepted.
Oh What FUN!!! (click the link above to watch the video on YouTube)
If this doesn’t put a little boogie in your bunda, I don’t know what will!!!!
Have a marvelous week, my friendly blog reader!
xoxo Pam
p.s. On Wednesday, instead of doing the inspirational word of the week, I’m going to post the first of a series dedicated to the 9 Basic Human Needs. (click the link to see what I’m talking about).
p.p.s. The picture above is of me selling raffle tickets at the Beets, Beats & Eats farmers market! Good Times!!!
Posted 1 year, 10 months ago at 10:31 am. Add a comment
Today is Wednesday, which means it’s time for the Inspirational word of the week.
Influence: (noun) 1. the power to be a compelling force 2. the process of producing effects on another (verb) to move to some action, to affect or sway.
Not only do I sell Tibetan prayer flags, I hang them throughout my house because they bring a positive influence into their environment.
The Tiger hangs in my bathroom. It symbolizes unconditional confidence, a natural sense of satisfaction and fulfillment through disciplined awareness, kindness and modesty. Although I don’t always feel unconditionally confident, I’ve noticed a difference in myself since I started flying this flag. It’s a gentle reminder to help bring me back to who I want to be. This simple flag helps to remind me what I need to represent in order to be a positive influence.
Especially when life gets difficult. Because life is never easy for very long.
Dale Carnegie wrote, “Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all.”
Whenever I start to feel like I just don’t know how I can keep going, I surf over to the communicatrix and listen to Colleen Wainwright sing her song . (WARNING, this song is not for young ears, but its message is very influential) It’s a great reminder that strength comes from the struggle. (It also helps to have a sense of humor!)
Like Colleen so eloquently said “One step at a time. Because there is love on the other side, but the only way to it is through it…”
*Anxiety Scrubber exercise* “Just cause I don’t know now, doesn’t mean I won’t know then…..Just cause I don’t know how, doesn’t mean I won’t know then……” (repeat 4 times while rubbing your finger and thumb together)
Promoting the Ortonville DDA Beets, Beats & Eats has afforded me the opportunity to talk with hundreds of people over the past couple of weeks. It seems lately that as long as I’m talking about the farmers market, I can talk all day. And quite honestly, it feels like I am!
To those of you who see me on a regular basis, I can understand why you’re just exhausted by watching me sometimes. I seem to have a tremendous amount of energy as I chat with people, in person, on the phone, by e-mail and on forums. It’s an incredible wave of energy and I’m glad to be sharing it with you all, my friendly blog readers.
My challenge is to keep focused in the right direction (giving people something special to look forward to in a fun atmosphere) and maintain faith in my mission to become an inspirational artist, writer, entrepreneur, volunteer extraordinaire!
This mission, should I choose to accept it, is to let other people get to know me and learn to accept me for who I am, because I have a lot of good to share.
“Stay open to the balance of energies, show patience for time to do its work. Embrace the place where life happens. By recognizing graciousness, kindness, generosity and bravery, we discover the power to create a better future is contained in the present moment.”
Relax your butt! Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!
“If you live the life you love, you will love the life you live” (quote from Soothe your Soul on Facebook)
“Sufficient to today are the duties of today. Don’t waste life in doubts and fear; spend yourself on the work before you; well assured that the right performance of this hours duties will be the best preparation.” Ralph Waldo Emerson(thanks Gretchen Rubin over at the Happines Project blog
“Grace enters when we accept what is.” Carla Blazek
My darling husband is on his way home as we speak!!! His project in Israel is OVER!!!! I’ve been trying to get the house spiffed up in anticipation of his arrival, and I plan on attending the Beets, Beats & Eats in two days as a vendor with my burlap art, my tibetan prayer flags and my massage chair! This weekend, we’re planning on taking in Oxfords Hot Blues and Barbeque, (put on by their DDA! ) The rest of the time, we’re going to just chill out! xoxo
Thanks for stopping by, my friendly blog reader. I’m excited to know you’re there and look forward to seeing your comments below.
xoxo Pam
p.s. I’ll be back on Monday with the Inspirational song of the week.
p.p.s. For those of you who are new, I’ve been posting twice a week for the past year, so please make sure you read the post on the right that says “Read this first”. It carries a lot of my “Flagship” content.
p.p.s.s. Seriously, I’m gonna go clean house! TTFN!
Posted 1 year, 11 months ago at 5:33 pm. Add a comment
So here’s a quick update about the Linchpin meeting today……..
My girlfriend Debbie drove us to Oxford today. Debbie really helped to ease my nerves! (Thanks Honey! xoxo) Our other girlfriend Molly met us there later. Although I had invited almost 20 people, only 4 had responded, 2 of which I’m already acquainted with. We sat close to the door so that I could see the other Linchpins. (I assumed they would recognize me because my picture was on the meet-up invitation.)
The first person to come was Jana, a lovely expatriate from the Czech Republic. She had just read Seth’s book 3 weeks earlier and was looking to make friends and connections here in Michigan. Debbie and I introduced ourselves and shared our enthusiasm for our BB&E farmers market starting at 6pm this Friday night in Crossman Park. We showed her the newsletter and schedule of events “push card” we’ve been passing out. Her English was very clear, although she didn’t seem to think so. I told her about my experience living outside of the country and how I understand how hard it is to be outside your network. I look forward to seeing her again soon at the BB&E.
Then Debbie called a friend of ours, DDA Executive Director Madonna Van Fossen, whose office is right around the corner from where we were meeting. She came right over about the same time Molly arrived. We all chatted about downtown drama, our events and the challenges they bring! It was really fun!
Although we didn’t have an actual agenda, I had printed out a few copies of my “How this works” to pass out, as well as a couple pages of notes I had collected when I read Linch Pin.
I started by asking everyone who hadn’t read the book to look over the linchpin-notes(Feel free to look them over yourself!)
Then we moved on to How this works.
First I talked about how important it is desire the sense of possibility of what we want. Personally, I want to get sewers put into Ortonville (yeah, it’s sad, but true) but I don’t really know how it’s going to happen. I just know that it’s important to remember the possibility exists and to focus on that.
Then we moved on to encourage compassion and accountability. It’s much easier to get anything done when we are compassionate with ourselves as well as other people. By carrying a good attitude, other people will be more likely to want to work with us, which enables us to get more done!
Next we talked about promoting motivation, communication and education. We had the BB&E newsletter on the table as an example of what we have to offer. It’s beautiful, with lots of color pictures, smiling faces, and tons of information about our park and everything it offers.
Next comes keeping it simple. “You can only live happily ever after, one day at a time.” Margaret Bonnano.
Then came recognize enjoyment in order to focus on what really makes life worth living.
Last, we talked about getting the rhythm and keeping momentum in order to see the benefits of positive growth.
*I need to tell you, my friendly blog reader, about the serendipitous moment that occurred at this moment. As I was talking about finding the fun in our lives, sharing it with other people and getting into the rhythm of it, the song “Love Train” by the O’Jays started to play overhead in the bar! It was as if my guardian angels were helping out with the soundtrack!*
After we were done, Madonna took us over to her office and gave us the nickel tour. We were able to get some wonderful promotional materials from her and I even got to show her the Stretch! She loved it and recommended I take it to Hannah at Soothe your soul, a local store in Oxford which has massage and aromatherapy along with candles, jewelry and great stuff. I fully plan on doing that very soon!
I’ve got to run out to the Village council meeting to give a quick presentation about the BB&E.
I hope you have a wonderful evening. Thanks for sharing in my adventures!
xoxoxo Pam
Posted 1 year, 11 months ago at 5:48 pm. 2 comments
I came across this song on FaceBook (Thanks Tad Hargrave). I’ve probably listened to it 15 times in the past 4 days! It’s truly wonderful and has a great message too! It’s important to know that you’re indispensable…………
(The picture above is of a linch pin, the thing that enables the wheel to stay on the axle in order to work together. Without it, the wheel falls off and nobody gets anywhere.)
I’m excited and nervous all at the same time. There is NO set agenda, it’s just people who have read Seth Godin’s LinchPin and have responded to a nation-wide Meet-up invitation. Nobody else had signed up to host in Oxford, so I stepped up.
This meeting is an opportunity for indispensable people to bring the”thing” that they’re interested in sharing with the world, into a safe environment. In an interview with Chris Guillebeau, Seth Godin talks about what a Linchpin is…..
“…. is the ability of each of us, without authority or permission,to do work that matters, to have an impact and to create a place for ourselves in a society that’s brainwashed us into doing something that’s an easily replaced commodity.” (click the link above to read the whole interview).
I’m also planning on sharing my “Stretch” in order to help manage the natural anxiety that occurs in these situations. Hopefully the other people don’t think it’s nuts, but honestly, I don’t think they will, and if they do, they’re in the wrong place.
I’ve asked everyone to bring their “elevator speech”, business cards or a favorite inspirational quote to share. I’m bringing my “How this works”, along with my business cards and my girlfriends Molly and Debbie.
If you’re in the area and are interested in finding a network of like-minded individuals who want to focus on making good things happen, please feel free to stop in to the Ox bar & grill on Main Street in Oxford.
I hope you have a fantastic Monday, my friendly blog reader, and I’ll be back on Wednesday with the Inspirational word of the day!
xoxo
Pam
Posted 1 year, 11 months ago at 7:07 am. Add a comment
Today is Wednesday, which means it’s time for the Inspirational word of the week.
Perspective: (noun) a visible scene, the state of existing in space, the state of one’s ideas and a mental view or prospect.
100_0020I wish I knew how to put this video directly onto the face of the post, but this is the best I can do. I appreciate your patience.
When you click the link titled 100 0020 above, you should be directed to a video I took while on my walk in Brasil last year. It’s of two dogs barking and snarling at me and my dog Tootsie as we passed by them.
Every day, as soon as these dogs heard or saw us, they would start barking and would sometimes even attack each other!!! At first, this display of aggression scared the hell out of me, but eventually it just became annoying. One day I decided to stop and tape them, and a funny thing happened. They calmed down. Apparently, they were so totally confused by my standing still and staring at them, that they eventually just quieted down and paced back and forth. I didn’t get close to them, but I did talk to them in a calm manner and ask them what they wanted. They just looked at me, with their heads cocked to one side. I continued on my walk and from that day forward, although they still barked, the anger and aggression seemed to be gone from their voices.
Which brings me to the lesson I learned from that experience.
“Just because someone says or does something nasty and mean, doesn’t mean I have to take it personally.”
Quite simply, these dogs didn’t have anything better to do. They were behind their fence every day, without any mental stimulation. Their owners didn’t take them for walks, so they had no way to burn off their aggression.
Here I come with my lovely chocolate lab, cruising past them, giving them something to focus their frustration and anger onto.
It’s not surprising then,that from their perspective it was my fault. My walking past them was a reminder of what they were missing, which made them even more frustrated and angry!
I feel sorry for these dogs, as well as the rest of the dogs that bark as Tootsie and I go walking past. They don’t have control over their exercise schedule and they can’t communicate what they need.
Too many people neglect to think about their dogs physical and emotional needs, so it isn’t surprising when you figure they probably don’t think too much about their own needs either.
There are always people who just don’t have anything better to do than bark, bitch, whine and complain about how terrible life is. They simply have nothing better to do (or they’ve chosen not to learn a different way to communicate).
If I allow their anger to upset me, then we’re both going to be frustrated and angry.
The only thing I have any control over is my own attitude.
I hope this post has helped give you a fresh perspective, my friendly blog reader.
I’d love to read your thoughts in the comments!
xoxo
Pam
Posted 1 year, 11 months ago at 6:32 pm. 4 comments
Today is Wednesday, which means it’s time for the inspirational word of the week.
Spirit: (noun) soul, consciousness, attitude, and divine presence.
Last Wednesday, my darling husband and I stained the deck. The temperature outside was 89 degrees Fahrenheit and the deck was blazing hot! We used a paint sprayer with a compressor, so the job didn’t take as long as it would have if we rolled it. (we’ve done that and it totally sucks!!)
Blake worked on putting up the paper to protect the house, while I sprayed deck stain on the hand-railings and spindles. I eventually caught up to him, so I put the sprayer down and went up to help him.
Now, the temperature outside was hot, but the temperature up against the house was even hotter! I could see beads of sweat dripping off of my darling husband as he struggled with the paper, the roll of masking tape and the wind. I did my best to hold the paper steady and level. At one point, I could see that Blake was really getting frustrated and he barked out for me to hold the paper steady! Using the calmest voice I have, I said ” I am, and I know you’re hot. We’ll be done with this by the end of the day, thanks to your sprayer.” My darling husband didn’t say anything else, but I could visibly see him relax a little and settle back into putting up the paper. I helped for a little while longer, and then went back down to continue spraying. We completely finished the deck just as Garrett got home from school at 4:30pm.
The rest of the evening we spent relaxing all together on the boat with barbecued pork chops and baked potatoes for dinner. (except for the few minutes I eeked out that quick post you got to read last week)
My agenda has been so busy lately, with CreekFest coming up this Saturday, and getting the sprinklers turned on, checking in on my neighbors new dog Roxie and doing the Drop the Drama stretch a couple of times a week, as well as the usual laundry, dishes, shopping, and floors………it’s really nice to stop for a few minutes to write a blog post and share this energy with you, my friendly blog reader. ;) MUWAH!!!!
I would love to read your thoughts in the comments.
For now, I’m off to another meeting!!
xoxo
Pam
p.s. If you’re in Ortonville MI on July 2, please feel free to come to the Beets, Beats & Eats farmers market and enter our coloring contest. EVERYONE is invited, but you must be present to win! All entries must be colored within the shape (no coloring outside the lines!) and on the supplied flyer (click the link above to print it out on 8 1/2″ x 11″ paper). Bring the flyer and $1 to the BB&E and give it to me. I will collect all of the money and display the art in the park. Everyone at the park is invited to vote once on their favorite. People’s choice wins all of the money!!!! The more entries we have, the bigger the prize!!!
p.p.s. I’ve never done anything like this before, so I’m not sure how it’s all going to work out. There may be some glitches along the way, but overall I think it’s a good way to give people something beautiful to focus on, as well as a great way to Enjoy the process!
Posted 1 year, 11 months ago at 11:49 am. Add a comment
