Today is Wednesday, which means it’s time for the Inspirational word of the day!
**I have been focusing on putting this image into this blog for more than 2 hours. I am tired and frustrated and have decided to call this good enough for now and go FOCUS on my family! Thanks for understanding ;)**
Focus: (noun) a central point of attraction, attention or activity. (verb) to concentrate.
This word is both a noun AND a verb which I think gives it twice as much power. ;)
The project pictured above measures 20″wide by 25″ tall. The frame is painted silver and the background material is hot pink micro-corduroy. I used my spare bag o’ beads to spell out the word FOCUS.
I made this project in the winter of 2005. We had just bought our house in November of 2004 and moved in right after Thanksgiving. I was lucky to have saved a few things from our previous home, but we had sold at least 80% of our stuff when we moved to Mexico. (One of the many lessons learned from that is NEVER SELL TOOLS. It pays to store them.)
Anyway, after the holidays, my husband went to Venezuela for 14 weeks. My son was 4 years old and our dog Tootsie was just a baby, learning to potty out in the snow. We had bought beds, a couch, a television and a kitchen table and chairs, but all the rest of our stuff was stuck in Mexico, so I couldn’t paint walls or do my “nesting”. I was just waiting………Ack!!
Those few weeks were very difficult to get through. I cried a lot and felt very stuck and alone. Although I had figured out the whole “pink thing” attitude adjustment while I was in Mexico, I wasn’t feeling confident in my new surroundings. It didn’t feel like my house, and there wasn’t anything I could really do but wait for our stuff to arrive. One day I called up my neighbor across the street to see if my son could play with hers for a while. Fortunately she agreed, so I took out my bag of art stuff and started putting together this project.
The whole time I worked on it, I was asking myself, “What am I supposed to be doing? Why am I not happy? Why haven’t any of my neighbors come over to have tea or chat with me? The real estate agent said our neighborhood was friendly and outgoing. What the hell is wrong with me!!!!!?????”
What I learned from making this project is that my life will become whatever I focus my attention upon.
I get what I give my attention to. Whatever I focus my energy on will grow. So if I continued to swirl around in the drama of being miserable and out of my comfort zone, I would just get more drama. By focusing on taking care of myself, my son, our dog and our new house, I started to feel better and in more control of my emotions. Daily phone calls from the hubby certainly helped out a lot too!
I made an active effort to focus on being happier. Every single day I made a choice to keep on smiling, whether I felt like it or not. I became determined to feel better.
I eventually got to know my neighbors. Our stuff finally came in so I could set up house and the dog finally learned to stop peeing on the floor after I took her to obedience classes (I highly recommend the Common Scents Canine Center!!) I started selling my art at the Beets, Beats & Eats country market, and then volunteering with the DDA to help run the market.
I’m not bored anymore
This quote from Seth Godin would have done me wonders back then.
“Smart business people focus on the things they have the power to change, not whining about the things they don’t.”
I was taking my walk a couple of weeks ago, when this line pops into my head.
“It’s good to be doin’ what you’re supposed to be doin’ with the people you’re doin’ it with.”
So I kept walking, saying it over and over, kind of like a mantra. When I got home, I told my son about it. He smiled and said “Yeah, that’s pretty cool. It answers a lot of questions, doesn’t it?” Then he plopped down on the couch to watch SpongeBob Squarepants.
Zen…………..
2009 has been a really great year for me and my family. I have learned a lot of things, only to realize that there are still boatloads of things I still want to learn. (like how to work my computer, how to market my art, how to find my “right people”, how to keep working with my friends to make Ortonville the vibrant place we need it to be…….no shortage of stuff to do!!)
My husband was gone, flying off to Israel for a quick business trip, so it was just my son and I for Sunday night dinner this past weekend.
I had really had my hopes up that my husband wouldn’t have to leave because of all the really gnarly storms in the North East. His original flight had been cancelled and there was a very substantial chance he wouldn’t have to go at all. Until he did. So then he packed up and left on Sunday afternoon with the promise to be back by Wednesday lunch time.
Our son was at a roller-skating party and so that gave me a couple of hours to sulk and nap. Then I went for a really long walk in the fading afternoon light, with the snow twinkling in the pink glow of the disappearing sun.
After my walk, my son came home and we had dinner.
It was after dinner that I got the idea that I should pull one of the tags from my project (pictured above, click the link to read about it) and read it out loud. I pulled out the tag that says FAITH and asked my son if he knew what faith was.
He said “yeah, I know what it means, but I can’t describe it. Why don’t you tell me what it means?”
I told him “Faith isn’t a physical thing. It’s in the trust I feel for your Daddy. Trust that he will do the very best job he can to travel safely and quickly to come back home to us. Even though there was no way I could know for certain that he will be safe, I hve to have faith that God would keep him safe and he’ll be home by Wednesday.”
Then I asked him if he remembered the Big Bang Theory episode (called the “White Asparagus Triangulation” and after wasting almost a full hour searching for this part on YouTube, I can’t find it. aaarrrrrgh!!!!) where Leonard is dating this really cute, sweet doctor lady Stephanie and Sheldon won’t leave them alone. It seems that Sheldon really wants Leonard’s relationship to work out because their “landing party needs a Dr. MCoy“, so he continuously tries to encourage the relationship, but ends up being a major pain in the ass.
When Leonard confronts him, Sheldon replies “Well, if you go by all of your previous relationships, this one is doomed to fail.”
Leonard “Why would you say something like that?”
Sheldon replies “Just look at the raw data. Your first relationship ended after a couple of months because your girlfriend got sent back to South Korea. Your next relationship ended after a couple of weeks because your girlfriend Leslie just wanted to have her way with you. Your last relationship, with Penny, ended after just a couple of hours. For all rights and purposes, you shouldn’t even have a girlfriend. I’m doing everything I can to help you.”
So then I said, “Faith is what Leonard has when he feels hopeful that this relationship will work out. He doesn’t look at the relationship as something that is just going to fail. Just raw data. He looks at it with the trust that he and his girlfriend will love each other enough to make a healthy relationship. Instead of focusing his attention on the failures of his past relationships, (like Sheldon was doing) Leonard finds faith by looking toward the hope of having a good relationship with Stephanie, and being happy along the way.”
My son nodded his head like he completely understood what I meant and said “Okay, can I go watch TV now?”
I said sure.
I don’t want to over-do a good thing.
What do you think? How would you explain Faith?
I hope each and everyone of you has the very best Holiday Season!!!
xoxoxooxxoxxoxo
Pam
p.s. My dear husband is back and safely wrapping Christmas presents in the bedroom! Yeah!
Posted 2 years, 4 months ago at 5:44 pm. Add a comment
Today is Monday, which means it’s time for the Inspirational song of the week.
Except instead of just one song, this week I’m offering a whole soundtrack of supportive songs to help get you through these last few days before Christmas.
You will notice there are NO Christmas songs on here. If you want to hear Christmas music, go to the mall.
As you go out amongst the masses of humanity this Holiday season, remember everybody needs a little extra support right now. Especially YOU my friendly blog reader. xoxoxooxox
I would love to hear what songs support you. What’s your favorite support song?
I’ll be back Wednesday with the word of the day.
peace,
Pam
Posted 2 years, 5 months ago at 10:22 am. Add a comment
I’ve decided to keep on adding more support because I’m realizing this is what this website is supposed to be for! A place to offer support, feel supportive and supported! Yeah for the epiphany!!
Support (verb) to hold up, serve as a foundation for, sustain, endure assist, advocate, corroborate with. (noun) a person or thing that serves as a support.
After Wednesday’s post, I went to meet with my lady friends at a wonderful little clothing shoppe in Oxford MI called Ella Fashion. The owner is a gorgeous Brasilian lady named Lisi. I was introduced to her by my long-time girlfriend Susan. I’ve introduced them to my other Brasilian girlfriend Allie, who has been in the States only a couple of months.
The four of us went to lunch at Victoria’s Wine and Dine just down the street from Ella Fashion. We all had a fantastic time chatting, drinking coffee and eating truly delicious food. Seafood Crepes, Crab cakes and roasted vegetable quiche (Desserts were Lemon/Raspberry and Black Forest Trifles….Scrumptious!!!)
We all commiserated about how much we miss our siblings, living so far away. Especially during this time of year. My sister lives in California, so I’m really stretching to remember the last time I saw her in person. I’m sorry to say I think it’s been over a year……..bummer Anyway, I suggested to my lady friends that we all meet for lunch at least once a month in order to reconnect, offer support and feel supported by each other.
I wish I could put a link in to the love I felt at that table right then, when we all looked at each other and said YES. Absolutely. We’ll make it happen!
Zen……..
It seems everywhere I look, I can see connections being made, people supporting one another. Because I choose to look for them.
If I wanted to waste my time, I could talk about that guy that plays golf and cheats on his wife as an example of how to be UNSUPPORTIVE.
I’ve got better things to do.
Like make, box up and deliver more than 50 boxes of hand-made english toffee and peanut brittle this year. (I give it to family and friends as well my son’s teacher, the garbage men, our mail lady. All the people that help support me and my family thru-out the year.)
Like talking to my sister on the phone for half an hour while I stirred candy and she shopped for boots. It was a splendid conversation, complete with tears and long distance hugs
Like working with Debbie, Molly and Dara to finish putting together the 2010 DDA Schedule of events and sponsorship letter after the Christmas in the Village wrap-up meeting. Fulfilling work with wonderful people.
Like going to the Christmas concert at my son’s school to watch them sing and smile. All shiny and happy!
Today is Wednesday, which means it’s time for the Inspirational word of the day.
Support (verb) to hold up, serve as a foundation for, sustain, endure, assist, advocate, corroborate with. (noun) a person or thing that serves as a support.
After last weeks post, I felt like I didn’t do the word justice. It’s such a powerful word, being a noun, verb that I thought I would follow up with another post in order to SUPPORT it! I love to play with words!
Last week I talked about how feeling supported and supportive is the foundation for what a happy life looks like.
What I would like to add this week are some people and places that are consistently supportive. Please feel free to click on their links to find support for yourself and if you enjoy it, please forward them on to your family and friends.
Today is Wednesday, which means it’s time for the Inspirational word of the day.
Support: (verb) to hold up, serve as a foundation for, sustain, endure, advocate, assist, and corroborate.
(noun) a person or thing that serves as a support.
A couple of weeks ago, I wrote a post called Autonomy. Long story short, I was not feeling fully supported by my darling husband and was feeling frustrated and angry.
Last week I posted Connectors, where I reflected on the connections in my life and their quality. A couple of ladies on FaceBook were even inspired to let me know they like the blog! Happy Day!!
Christmas in the Village went extremely well with over 300 people coming into town. All of the hard work put in by the sponsors and volunteers of the DDA paid off with tons of smiles and laughter all afternoon. All the vendors of Santa’s shop,( including yours truly) made a little money and got to feel supported by our community. It was magical!!
My husband really doesn’t think what I do is a waste of time. He just wanted a more solid, engaging connection with me. Although I wasn’t crazy about how it all happened, I am glad he said something in order to get my attention. It takes both people to make a marriage strong. It takes work too.
He has usually been very helpful, supportive and sweet. For instance, he did come to the Christmas in the Village event and stay through the afternoon and even helped to put away stuff at the end of it all. He is truly present and helpful and I wouldn’t want to be married to anyone else. Ever.
I have really tried to focus on making our time together about the quality and enjoyment of each others presence. (Cue Bryan Adams “Everything I do“)
(Here is where I would like to put up a cartoon I have had up on my wall for years. I am technologically retarded and haven’t figured out how yet, but in the mean time, here goes……..)
It’s a Rose is Rose comic strip by Pat Brady . In the first frame, we see the little boy, Pasquale, smiling and turning summersaults while his Mom, Rose, asks him “What are you so happy about?” Pasquale answers back “I don’t know. I guess I’ll know it when I see it!” The next frame we see Rose march into the living room where the Dad is sitting down in his chair reading the paper. Rose plops herself down in his lap and gives him a great big hug and kiss. ”What are you so happy about?” says the Dad. Rose replies “I don’t know. I guess ……” In the last frame, we see Pasquale watching from the other room, and he says “There it is!”
Go ahead and grab a tissue. I’ll wait……..
Okay. Confession time.
This little piece of paper saved my marriage.
This cartoon is responsible for making me realize that the way I treat my husband is directly related to the health of our home and family.
I was lucky to have found it when our son was just a baby. In fact, I found it about the same time I realized Pink. Coincidence? I think not!!!! God may work in mysterious ways, but fortunately she throws things in front of our faces when we really need it, too.
One of the first weeks back at school, my son came home with this “Bucket Fillers“ list.
On it he wrote “Why I love and respect you Mom. 1) You are very nice. 2) You love me very much. 3) You and Dad get along very well. 4) You listen to me very well. 5) You help me out a lot.
I couldn’t have won the lottery and felt any happier than I did the day he brought that list home. It was number 3 that just got me. At 9 years old, our son has realized that what he has is very special. He has parents who love and support each other, as well as him. I’ve explained to him that even when we have arguments, it’s getting through those tough times together that makes our relationship stronger. He’s the happiest kid I have ever met and I feel overwhelmed with gratitude to be his mom.
Feeling supported and supportive is the very foundation of what a happy life looks like.
It is also the heart of the Christmas Holiday Spirit! Right now, during all the hustle and bustle, don’t forget to take a few extra minutes to tell the people in your life just how wonderful they are. Why not give them a list of things they do that make you feel special, supported and loved all year long?
“The greatest gift you can give another is the purity of your attention.”
It doesn’t need a bow, or a Visa card and you don’t ever have to worry about whether or not it fits.
Thanks for reading along and supporting this blog.
I really enjoy doing this and I hope it helps you along your day, as well.
Ooohhh, Oooohh Special Holiday bonus!!!
Home-made mulling spices recipe!!
In a crockpot with about 4 cups of water, add the skin of one orange, 4 tspns Allspice, one small jar of whole cloves and about 6 cinnamon sticks. Simmer it on low with the lid cracked open. Don’t leave it on overnight!!!! It should last for at least a week or so, just add water when it starts to dry out. Pour it down the garbage disposal when it’s all done to make the kitchen smell nice.
I read the Tipping Point by Malcolm Gladwell a couple of years ago. To quote Wikipedia he wrote “Connectors are the people who link us up with the world…….people with a special gift for bringing the world together.”
The picture above is of a bunch of connectors I have collected over the years. Most of them I have found while walking with Tootsie. Some of them I came across while I was moving back from Brasil. There was one I didn’t pick up, but I will always remember……..it was a rusty, dirty, salt-stained gator clip. I noticed it because of what it was, but didn’t want to stop and touch it, much less put it into my pocket. All of these years later, I still think of that clip because it made me think of what kind of a connection it would make. What kind of a connection I would make. What kind of connection I have with other people.
While at the Henry Ford Museum with my son and his 4th grade class today. I came across this quote from Charles Eames, of the Eames chair fame, which reads
“Eventually everything connects- people, ideas, objects. The quality of the connections is the key to quality per se.”
Brilliant.
What kind of a connection are you making? What kind of connectors are you looking for?
I’d love to hear what you think!
Have a great week!
Pam
Posted 2 years, 5 months ago at 9:11 pm. Add a comment
**I have been focusing on putting this image into this blog for more than 2 hours. I am tired and frustrated and have decided to call this good enough for now and go FOCUS on my family! Thanks for understanding ;)**
Anyway, I suggested to my lady friends that we all meet for lunch at least once a month in order to reconnect, offer support and feel supported by each other.
